Weech©Brian Froud
The Culinary Arts of Weech and Stench
By Weech...Come dine with me!!
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My name is Weech, I like to cook
The slimies from the swamp I took
The goblins know me very well
My recipes are in no book
Everything I make is browned
In brown gravy all is drowned
I tried a white sauce made of clams
Though rotted well, Bregg just frowned
Now I cook for poets' ring
Since Breggie lost his Yeurrrrchy sting
He eats only worms and frogs
And heaps of brown stuff that I bring!
Once a year, for wordsy-troupe
I’ll make a luscious brownie soup
This dish, of course, is very rare
Ten brownies needed for each scoop!
I’d like to try a human child
I hear their flesh is much too mild
They might be good with swampy-rats
And spicy elfies from the wild
For drinks I make a faerie-ade
Aged underground for one decade
Garnished with some toadstool rot
And yummie roachies that I slayed.
My assistant, stinky-Stench
Drains the bunnies on his bench
And with the juice he makes a beer
For goblins’ thirst is hard to quench.
That oozey, drippy, putrid fool
Sometimes can’t control his drool
“Do not waste!” I shout in rage
“Go stand above the gravy pool!”
The poets must eat once an hour
Writing rhymes takes all their power
Great quantities of bunny-beer
In woody mugsies they devour!
We have a fallen-faerie slave
We found hiding in a cave
It serves the goblins all day long
Sings impy songs the poets crave
Our realm’s culture and high arts
Comes from goblins, versie-smarts
But they would starve were I not here
Weech knows the way to goblins’ hearts.
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Theo van Joolen©2010
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Selected as Froudian Poem of the Month. June 2010. World of Froud. http://www.worldoffroud.com/www/froudians/main/index.cfm
Stench©BrianFroud