Order of the 50 Monks...the Americans

The Order of the 50 Monks...the Americans

What the heck is the Order of the 50 monks? Well, the project started out as an attempt between the Grand Monkinator [the Fairy Poet] and a few friends to create limericks for 50 funny little monks [the friar Tuck type, ya know?] from 50 U.S. States. The silliness was a foot and the results are clear to see. The original website is 50monks.com, which has some special added features, but only works well with Explorer. I transferred the limericks to Fairypoet.com to spread the good word...which we spread far and wide on Monks Abroad! Enjoy and feel free to contribute by sending a limerick to theovanjoolen@fairypoet.com and be included on our list of contributors.

Alabama

This monk came from old Alabama
Innocent as a white lamb-a
When he stole a bubblegum
It was more than quite troublesome
Put his church in a terrible jam-a (Theo)

Alaska

A maverick monk from Fairbanks
To his GOP gov'nor gave thanks
But when she came forth with child
Our monk-man went wild
And fled to the land of the Francs

A Russian monk up in Alaska
Fasting for the approaching Pascha
Refused daily bread
So its offerer said
"I knew that, but just thought I'd ask ya" (EHTIYOT)

Arizona

A worldly monk from Arizona
Versed in Bantu, Swahili and Shona
Launched an African mission
But soon he was wishing
He was watching the bulls in Pamplona (EHTIYOT)

This monk moved to hot Arizona
From his dear old home in Verona
But he was quite bald
So the sun would just scald
His nose, ears, and pate...fried Bologna! (Theo)

(or pizza pepperona!...shameless!)

Arkansas

There was a bald monk from old Arkansas
Who strolled on the path through the park and saw
A doggie in pain
Still wet from the rain
'Til he removed a sharp piece of bark-in-his-paw (Theo)

A monk from the capital Little Rock
Wasted much time in trite piddle-talk
Bought a rare violin
Now he's just smilin'
Rich, happy investor in fiddle stock! (Theo)

California

These monks came from old Californ’
Where all the tough Padres are born
I don’t mean the ones
Who hit the homeruns
But those pious, whose heads are all shorn (Theo)

This monk came from North California
If your behavior is bad, he will scorn 'ya
So you better be nice
With nary a vice
Or at your funeral he won’t even mourn 'ya (Theo)

An evil monk from California
Of a nature to revile and scorn 'ya
Would stare in your eye
And wish you to die
So, don't tell us we didn't warn 'ya (EHTIYOT)

A San Francisco monk named Abbe
She always seems smart and so savvy
When her final paper was due
She had not a clue
So wrote silly limericks to be happy! (AB)

High up in the hills of Mount Baldy
A monk fell in love with Vivaldi
The silence he'd sworn
Now made him forlorn
Till he said sacred vows, I annul thee!

In Monterey down by the sea
A baritone monk sang with glee
In the cellar, alas
He drank wine from the mass
And tunefully set himself free.

In Hollywood down near L.A.
A few novice monks went to pray
But the urban attire
Did fail to inspire
So with eyes shut they wandered away.

This monk came to Pasadena Old Towne
With a big, mean Altadena cold frown
His mood better change
And his face re-arrange
To enjoy the Valley's fine gold Crowne. (Theo)

Amidst the green trees of Marin
A monk bowed a gay violin
When asked "What you playin'?"
He said "I ain't sayin'
Lest someone declare that I sin!"

A Franciscan who lived in a tent
Wore ragged clothes with an unhealthy scent
With no money to spend,
Invest, borrow or lend
He found peace and was truly content. (David S.)

This monk came from fair San Diego
From the isle of Trinidad-Tobago
"This man Philip Rivers,
He never delivers!!
And I painted the Bolts on my new Winnebago!" (Theo)

(Screw it!...Go Arizona Cardinals!)

This monk at the mouth would just froth
To go skiing at mountain Mammoth
A demon on mogul (s)
The crowd would just ogle
“Not bad for a man of the cloth!!” (Theo)

[“Yo Padre! Bitchin' aerial 360!!”]

This monk came from olde San Diego
He only ate pasta with Prego
When he had a fish taco
His tastebuds went wacko
"Fusili…It's hasta luego!" (Theo)

A deacon from the heart of L.A.
Of monk-limericks had little to say
"My theology's learned
But your minds seem too burn-ed
For your souls and a bad rhymes I will pray!" (Theo)

There once was a monk from Monrovia
Who came from the province, Segovia
He studied Spanish Guitar
Then became a rock star!
Quit the church for his smokin' hot novia!! (Theo)

There once was a monk from Arcadia
"Who said to a nun, "your're my Lady, Ah!
If I could have just one
Lapdance for fun
I'll take you to the Doo-Dah Parady, duh! (Theo)

Colorado

This monk came from fair Colorado
Who tried to be good, but was bad-o
He hiked in the mountains
And pee’d in the fountains
Undignified, much like a lad-o. (Theo)

This monk came from fair Colorado
Who constantly ran from his shadow
He was finally outplayed
When he stepped in the shade
And since then he's incommunicado. (EHTIYOT)

One day a monk from Colorado
Purchased a ripe avocado
He haggled the merchants
Though is need was not urgent
As twice he'd won fortunes in lotto. (EHTIYOT)

Connecticut

A snake bitten monk from Connecticut
Tried to save his own life with a tourniquet
He tied a good knot
And watched his blood clot
But died nonetheless, being delicate. (EHTIYOT)

A scholarly monk came from Yale
Thought Princeton and Harvard were stale,
Columbia gauche,
For Cornell had reproach,
PENN, Dartmouth & Brown-- just silly and frail! (Theo)

District of Columbia

There was a bald monk from D.C.
Who wrote poems on his brand new PC
They were often quite flirty
And just a bit dirty
For a monk this just might come easy! (Theo)

Delaware

This monk came from dandy ol' Delaware
Sold hardo- and tupper- and jello-ware
He made gelatin fruits
That gave people the toots
That often would cause quite a smello-scare (Theo)

Florida

There once was a monk from Miami
Whose dear cousin lived in Siami
He was kind to the rudest
Like a sweet, loving Buddhist
Not like father-son-holy ghost triple whammi! (Theo)

Georgia

A venerable old monk from Georgia
Whose lineage descends from the Borgia
Recited haiku with ease
In strict Japanese
What no other monk could have told 'ya. (EHTIYOT)

A venerable old monk came from Georgia
His lineage descends from the Borgia
He Chanted prayers with ease
To working-girls on their knees
"Too bad, but I just can't afford 'ya." (Theo)

Hawaii

There once was a monk from Hawaii
A friend, that would always supply me
With coffee from Kona
And plants that he'd grown-a
The smell always whispered, "just try me!" (Theo)

(and I did, and now totally surf at Kauai!...wow, man!)

In Maui surrounded by palms
A monk with his bowl looked for alms
To the tourists he said
Give some cash, go ahead!
The karma is great, have no qualms!

Idaho

A confused but bold monk from Idaho,
Was sexually confused on which way to go.
"It might be more fun
Should I be a nun,
If the scalpel they'd use I could forego. (VvJ)

Illinois

This monk came from fair Illinois
A vegan, he strictly ate soy
But once in a fog-o
He ran to Chicago
To eat steak and fries, boy-oh-boy! (Theo)

In a candlelit church west of Percy
A monk found the power of mercy
With cheer he forgave
The most ominous knave
And then did the same in New Jersey

Indiana A monk from South Bend Indiana
Thought at last he had reached Nirvana
But as he woke in his bed
What he found was instead
A cheap brothel in Billings Montana (EHTIYOT)

Iowa

There once was a monk from north Iowa
Who moved to the island of Kiahwah
"You suthun' boys crazy!
But them Iowans lazy!
So, I figered I'd come here to try a whyle!"

(it does TO work, when you recite in stereotypical lazy southern
drawl... cuz Kiahwah Island is in South Carolina ya know!?)

There once was a monk from Des Moines
Who was frozen right down to his loins
He stands in bitter cold snow
It's his job, don't ya know
He needs beer, so is begging for coins! (Theo)

Kansas

A fretful old monk in Kansas
Was fearful of taking big chances
So he steered himself clear
Of wine, women and beer
Or anything else that enchants us! (EHTIYOT)

There once was a monk from ol' Lawrence
Who frequently traveled to Florence
He drank too much Chianti
His judgment was scanty
Stole artwork, now has many warrents! (Theo)

(Lawrence is the birthplace of our Grand Monkinator...Amen!)

Kentucky

There once was a monk from Kentucy
Who hitched a dingy to six rubber duckies
He wore robes of wet sand
And dreamt of cool bands
Playing songs that made him feel plucky. (Nicola)

A curious monk from Kentucky
whom no one could dare reckon lucky
for Sanders long slaved
this monk so depraved
though all hens said he backed up his clucking. (EHTIYOT)

Louisiana

A monk from the heart of the Bayou
His gumbo, so hot it'll fry you
You'll be dancin' to Zydeco
You'll die if you try to go
"Vous avez un cochon!...not so sly, you!!" (Theo)

(trappiste défroqué, to be sure)

A Buddhist from Baton-Rouge
Was known to race on a luge
While cruising downhill
He said "All is Nil"
But this mountain is freaking huge! (David S.)

Maine

There once was a monk from ol' Maine
Who liked to sing songs in the rain
When he caught the chills
He imagined with thrills
"I should do much more service in Spain!" (Theo)

(where there are lovely Señoritas I could train...d'oh!)

The monk from Maine was an oldie
His Robes were getting all moldy
"Out!" they told him to go
And find some rich hoe
To give him some silver and gold-y. (Caroline)

Maryland

There was a bald monk from ol’ Maryland
Who was opposed to the political gerrymand
So he joined a great cause
To change all the laws
For his devotion they made him the Chair-i-man (Theo)

There was a young monk from ol' Maryland
Who went to his priest seeking reprimand
But the priest calmly grinned,
And said, "You've not sinned,
For the Viagra you took is not contraband." (VvJ)

There once was a monk from Anappolis
Who led social events in the chapel-es
On Thursdays he'd chose
Good fruits for the booze
From the Parish's grove of the apple-es (Theo)

Massachusetts

There once was a monk from South Boston
Who had a saucy dear cousin from Austin
She rode in on her pony
Screamed, "I'll take no bolgna!...
Or liquor, or beer...cuz I'm fastin!" (Theo)

(that's wicked-baad!)

There is an old monk from Cape Cod
Who is known to unusually odd
He takes dips in the winter
When surf's to cold to get inter
And freezes his poor little bod (John)

Michigan

There once was a monk from east Michigan
Who bottled his drinks in a squishy can
And not to play dumb
It was usually rum
Which he secretly sold to a bitchy nun (Theo)

A crazy old monk from North Michigan
Recently escaped from the loony bin.
To the priest he proclaimed
That he had been framed
By his invisible conjoined-twin. (VvJ)

A friar who came from Detroit
In begging was clearly adroit
He implored to reward
GM and Ford
While taxpayers he sought to exploit. (David S.)

A bald monk from Kalamazoo
Desired to obtain a tattoo
But when he found out
It wasn't allowed
He set off in a painted canoe.

A monk from old Kalamazoo
Had literally nothing to do
So he went to East Lansing
For hot disco dancing
And drank copious cups of good brew! (Theo)

There once was a monk from East Lansing
Who had a bad habit of glancing
Under the layers
Of the nuns at their prayers
Thought, "bikinis would be more enhancing!" (Theo)

There once was a monk from Ann Arbor
Who moonlighted as a monk-barber
He saved all the hair
And made underwear
...Many fetishes to secretly harbour. (Theo)

There once was a monk from East Lansing
Who fancied to go about prancing
A bit of a dandy
He often got randy
Upon nuns he was always advancing. (Theo)

An angler monk from Michigan
Invented a steam fish engine
It was brilliant no doubt
But took 5,000 trout
To move his contraption six inches (EHTIYOT)

Led Zeppelin

This monk came from cold Misty Mountain
Who bathed in the iciest fountain
And with a rash snear
"I used to live in Kashmir,
Many tales I must start recountin." (Theo)

This monk wrote limerick number seven
And is now on a Stairway to Heaven
Although it's a sin
He brought a bottle of gin
Now is floating high on cloud eleven. (Theo)

The monk from Main was an oldie
His Robes were getting all moldy
"Out!" they told him to go
And find some rich hoe
To give him some silver and gold-y. (Caroline)

Upon a landing on the Stairway to Heaven
The monk found himself at a quarter-to-seven
He met an angry Black Dog
So, down the Hedgerow he jogged
Fell down, and broke both of his Lemons. (Caroline)

This monk remebered a tale that was told
About a place in the hill of the gold
What could compare
With Bron-Y-Aur?
Not my cell in which I am holed! (Theo)

This monk was pure as a dove
He always had whole lotta love
But when his wine was all gone
He’d just ramble on
“In my time of dying, this is all I think of?” (Theo)

A monk in New York felt hard put
By the city he felt trampled under foot
He might feel re-born, Ya!
Going to California!
Ten Years Gone in this grime and this soot! (Theo)

This monk had a problem from youth
He had a most fearsome sweet tooth
Right now I would die
To eat Custard Pie
So give me some candy and truth! (Theo)

NFL Superbowl

This monk was a big fan of PITT
For the Cardinals could not give a shit!
He bet 5000 Grand
Which is much in demand
"If I lose, oh what sins I'll commit!" (Theo)

A Swedish monk loved Arizona
On the Cardinals bet 1000 krona
"They better damn win,
Or I'll lose my skin
I'm broke so I'd flee to Verona!" (Theo)

A monk and a fan of the Cardinal
Thought Arizona's chances were marginal
But with chips and good beer
He wiil be of rare cheer
With a burger, sangria, hot dogs, and all! (Theo)

A novice and fan of the Steelers
To the fans sent out internet feelers
But before SuperBowl's start
She must read Vergil & Descartes!
Hopefully beers will be healers! (Theo)

Minnesota

A droll ancient monk from Duluth
Had trouble with telling the truth
He said "really, I try,
Yet I can't help but lie
You see, I am long in the tooth."

There once was a monk from St. Paul
Drank good booze and loved to go brawl
He needs a good spankin'
From our good friend Al Frankin
Or put in a cage for a tiger to mawl. (Theo)

(that's Senator Al Frankin to you...!)

Mississippi

This monk came from ol' Mississippi
His robes made him look like a hippie
The colors kicked ass
Now he's smokin' the grass
And the strawberry wine makes him flippy. (Theo)

(perhaps he should just take a sippie)

A hairless monk in Mississippi
Considering 40 degrees a bit nippy
Changed his monastic gown
For that of a clown
And now looks exactly like Zippy. (EHTIYOT)

A bold monk from old Mississippi
Found a cure when the weather was nippy
He sought a plump nun
And shared brandy and fun
Fresh and frolicsome just like a hippie.

Missouri

There one was a monk from Missouri
Who fancied good Indian curry
If his tummy would ache
He could not eat cake
But with calcium Tums, not to worry !! (Theo)

There once was a monk from Missouri
Who rampaged all day in a fury
For his habit was twisted
And his feet were all blist’rd
And all they fed him was vegetable puree. (Nicola)

Montana

There once was a monk from Montana
Who frequently wore a bandana
Although he was bald
The Italians all called:
"Padre…Headscarf!...she no made for a man-a!” (Theo)

There once was a monk from Montana
Who digged his hippie bandana
You would not disapprove
When he strolled with his groove
While singing the tunes of Santana! (Theo)

Nebraska

There once was a monk from Nebraska
Who'd lift up his habit and flash ya
When the cops asked him why
He'd simply reply
With a moon that made them sorry they'd assta. (Nicola)

Nevada

There once was a monk out of Reno
Who spent all his time playing Keno
All of his funds
In fives and in ones
He donated to the Casino. (David S.)

There once was a monk from Lake Tahoe
Who got tragically stuck in the deep snow
Things looked pretty grim
Till a St. Bernard found him
And yanked him right out by his big toe. (David S.)

(better his big toe than his...d'oh!)

There once was a monk from Nevada
Who sang many a lovely ballad-a
But he started to ramble
And increasingly gamble
And drink gin like he never quite had-a. (Theo)

(mostly at the Casino...Allada-in)

New Hampshire

There once was a monk from New Hampshire
Who was preparing himself for the rapture
When the day finally came
He dozed off in shame
Which prevented his eventual capture. (Theo)

(its purgatory for you my flu-ridden friend...)

I've heard of a monk from New Hampshire
Who was always in search of some answers
To riddles and mysteries
Or unresolved histories
Before ever leaving his Pampers. (EHTIYOT)

(poopie product placement)

New Jersey

There was an odd monk from Hoboken
Who kept his mum's hair as a token
Some pressed in fine glass
But he'd reserved quite a mass
For the dubious pleasure of smokin' (EHTIYOT)

There once was a monk from New Jersey
A state that just gave him the scurvy
So he thought he'd be cool
Went to old Liverpool
Now pisses his Guinnes back into the Mersey. (Mike)

There once was a monk from New Jersey
Who committed a terrible heresy
He started to rant
And sing pagan chant
And prayed to the gods of the Pharasee. (Theo)

New Mexico

A moonlighting monk from New Mexico
While working the neighborhood Texaco
Shouted "Come here to buy sag!"
To cars on the main drag
Not bad as far as dyslexics go. (EHTIYOT)

Some monks in serene Santa Fe
Discovered the Watercourse Way
Though lovely this land
There's just too much sand
They grinned and set off for Coos Bay.

This monk came from ol' Santa Fe
Took his vow, so had nothing to say
He found opera chorus
Now sings like a Taurus
And says, "bully on silence today!" (Theo)

(a tenor of course!)

New York

There once was monk from New York
Whose brothers considered a dork
But when he made a movie
They thought he was groovy
Although we was no Mickey Rourke. (Theo)

There once was a monk from New York
On Fridays he often ate pork
But that's just a sin
No matter what state your in
On a ship he was sent back to Cork! (Theo)

(it's back to the old country for a little re-education!)

This Monk was American-Dutch
With tulips he had quite a touch
His beard had turned grey
Over many-a-day
But the nuns didn’t care very much! (Krista)

This monk was quite the cool guy
Dutch, but all American Pie
He really liked cherry
It made him feel merry
So he baked a nice big supply. (Krista)

(on the banks of the Hudson River, of course...)

A Dutch-American monk named Theo
Always had too much to say-o
He met Novice Krista
Said, “¡Qué buena vista!”
Got frisky and wanted to play-o. (Theo)

[hey!!...I mean a nice game of gin-rummy...really now!]

There was a young monk in New York
commonly known as O'Rourke
he beguiled and fooled
but all that he pulled
was a jug bunged up with a cork (NG)

A scholarly Novice from Vassar
Was struggling while reading Sassure
"This guy has no heart,
I prefer Roland Barthes
I need a quick shot of wheat grass...aaahrr!" (Theo)

A scholarly Novice from Vassar
She's tough, so best not harrass her
With incredible wit
She studies French lit.
Your knowledge of saints won't surpass her (Theo)

North Carolina

This monk came from North Carolina
He once walked the Great Wall of China
Although a Blue Devil
The hike was not level
And gave him an attack of angina. (Theo)

North Dakota

A monk from south North Dakota
At the strip bar ordered cream soda
To the barkeep he said
"Make sure there's a head,
Or I'll tip you a measly iota." (EHTIYOT))

Ohio

There was a bald monk from Ohio
Who was a fan of the mighty Buckeye-o!
He rooted for State
Drank wine by the crate
But the cheerleaders all made him cry-o! (Theo)

(he imagined one that he would like to try-o! D'oh!)

A mad crazy monk from Ohio
Admitting that he was a pyro
Set a cornfield ablaze
Then said through the haze
"At least I'm not in denial." (EHTIYOT)

A meek monk escaped to Toledo
Where he could pray incognito
A much safer choice
Than speaking his voice
And risking tomato torpedo!

Senator monk from O-hia
Who, no matter how hard he did try-a
Couldn't collect
Enough support to eject
So, back to the Fed he did fly-a! (Caroline)

There was an old monk from Toledo
Who had the most active libido
As much as he tried
Couldn't keep his cloak tied
So they slapped his hand like a mosquito! (Caroline)

Oklahoma

This monk came from hot Oklahoma
Contracted the dread melanoma
He used to sit in the sun
Because he thought it was fun
Now spends his days in tequila-soaked coma! (Theo)

(it's just another tequila sunrise...that's just not nice!)

Oregon

There was a bald monk from fair Oregon
Who wondered where all good lore-had-gone
He needed folktales
To read during the gales
In cold nights to his friends...a nice whore and nun (Theo)

There once was a monk up in Oregon
Whose abbot sent him out foraging
He entered a harem
Returned with a pair of them
Asking "what did you send me out for again?" (EHTIYOT)

There once was a monk from Eugene
Who often remained quite unseen
In the forest's cover of mist
He would go to get pissed
And then pray, smoke a bowl, get serene. (Theo)

Pennsylvania

This monk came from east Pennsylvania
If you ask him real nicely, he’ll train 'ya
But he doesn’t like fools
So play by the rules
He's wise and just won't entertain ya! (Theo)

There once was a monk from old PITT
Who just about HAD IT!
He likes people who’re real
The ones that make steel
But that industry’s just about quit! (Theo)

There was a bald monk from ol’ Pittsburgh
Who made enemies in the near Ritz-burgh
That’s the steal-baron hood
They're not always good
And clammor for political Splits-burgh! (Theo)

There once was a monk from west Philly
Whose pastime was just a bit silly.
Though he never would boast,
He ate cheese steaks like hosts
Which gave him quite a big belly. (Tess)

A PENN monk and a fair-minded Mennonite
Who took up his plume-feathered pen 'ta write
A Bible exegesis book
Which his brothers mistook
As a guide to the land of the Canaanite. (Theo)

A monk from Ancient John Muir
Could hardly be called demure
He slept with his tomes
Awoke with more poems
And invited his friends to obscure. (Preston)

Puerto Rico

This Monk was a bald Puerto Rican
On spiritual quests he went seekin'
For statehood for his brothers...
And his sisters, and mothers
Falling short, to him is just reakin' (Theo)

{Muy bueno, Gran Senior Monje!}

This monk came from hot Puerto Rico
Had esposa, hija, and chico!
If you asked him why
He would just cry
¡Perdon...No me lo explico! (Theo)

Rhode Island

There once was a monk from Rhode Island
Whose passing mourned many a fine man
They left nuts and fruits
By a tree whose long roots
Reached back to his birthplace in Thailand. (Nicola)

(a little Buddhist monk time)

South Carolina

This monk came from South Carolina
Had a noisy, expressive pet myna
To the scrappy gamecock
Yelled, "You can't even talk!"
So was thrown by the fans in some brine-a! (Theo)

(yum…roast myna bird with fried taters! Do I need to explain that is the University of South Carolina Gamecocks?)

South Dakota

A drunk monk from west South Dakota
Said "Here is the dollar I owed ya"
He tore it in half
And said with a laugh
"A green George looks something like Yoda" (EHTIYOT)

This monk came from wild South Dakota
In bars he drank cold scotch & soda
He took many sips
And gave many tips
And always drank more than his quota. (Theo)

Tennessee

There was a drunk friar from Tennessee
Who's favorite cognac was Hennessey
You'd think he'd drink bourbon
But that’s much too suburban
For a booze-sipping monk who needs clemency (Theo)

There once was a monk from ol' Nashville
Who consumed THC in a hash-pill
He gyrated his pelvis
Like a fat drugged-out Elvis
And offered the nuns a hot flash-thrill! (Theo)

Texas

This monk came from ol' San Antonio
Who could never be reached on the phone-io
He wrote like a snail
Too slow for email
So he got all his news via pony-o (Theo)

There was a bald monk from west Texas
Who was driven to work in a Lexus
The ladies were charmed
And no one was harmed
When they offered to show him what sex is. (Theo)

There once was a monk from Crockett (Co.)
Who stuck his tongue in a socket.
Along came a beeyatch
Who flipped on the sweeyatch,
And Crockett went off like a rocket! (David S.)

Utah

This monk from Salt Lake was a Utah'n
A jack Mormon who puked on his futan
From the tribe was rejected
But at rehab, selected
To become Wiccan, so he could have lewd fun! (Theo)

Vermont

There was a ghost-monk from Vermont
Who had many houses to haunt
He died drinking maple
Which was his main staple
About syrup he was a savant. (Theo)

There once was a monk from Vermont
Who dated a hot debutante
He had to keep quiet
To avoid a huge riot
...Too easy a target to taunt. (Theo)

Virginia

A hunt-loving monk from Virginia
"Come out you big bear and I'll skin ya!"
He yelled into the cave
And though he was brave
All we found was his shredded insignia. (EHTIYOT)

Washington

This monk is a fare Washingtonian
Who spoke Dutch through a new microphonian
When he gave a sermon
They thought he was German
That’s Deutsch, not the neo-Franconian. (Theo)

(oooh...historical linquistics...cool!)

West Virginia

This monk came from ol' West Virginia
At poker he always will win 'ya
A tough Mountaineer
Wears furs, but not queer
If you say so, he'll just about skin 'ya (Theo)

This monk came from old West Virgin'
And had dozens and dozens of kin!
They don't mine no coal
In their still they just boil
Sum whiskey, and mash and sum gin. (Theo)

Wisconcsin

There once was a monk in fair Madison
With a nun he secretly had a son
When the people found out
They started to shout
"Just go get a room at the Radisson!" (Theo)

Wyoming

An old GI monk from Wyoming
Indicted Dick Cheney while roaming
"You fought war for oil,
While the Gods' blood did boil,
And you, sir, are in need of a stoning!" (VvJ)

A rabid young monk from Wyoming
Prayed with his mouth fully foaming
"Ashlug thlotha thled"
He allegedly said
But we've really no sure way of knowing. (EHTIYOT)

WOW!!...THAT"S JUST SILLY!!

Go to Monks Abroad...